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    思念

    mum9

    入10月,炙热猛烈的阳光变得日渐柔和明亮,几场大雨过后Houston有了些许秋高气爽的味道,猛然间又是一个秋了。

    原本想在中秋时节提笔写点什么,每每提笔却止不住的泪流满面。想来每年的中秋都是家人忙得人昂马翻的大日子,因为姥爷的生日恰在中秋的前一天。身在异乡,我是个缺席各大节日的常客。整整10年没有回家过中秋了,我逐渐习惯于端着电话倾听对面欢快的喧哗,想像着家人团聚的喜乐,心底亦会充满无限的温暖和宁静。今年的中秋却是这般不同,因为姥姥不在了…

    我自嘲自己患了思念过度的后天免疫不全症。妈妈告诉我81岁的姥姥离去的安详平和,我也明白人生像搭车终归有起点亦有终点。可我仍然在和妈妈通电话提起姥姥时哽咽语拙,仍然在中秋节那天坐在办公室里敲着键盘落泪,仍然偶尔深夜惊醒悲伤袭来…真实的情感世界里,我…仍然那么不坚强。

    是的,人生如同搭车,我的姥姥走了,在众人没有留意的时候,偷偷的下了车,让我们措手不及,毫无准备,满是错愕。妈妈说她还从没有拥抱过姥姥,爸爸说他没有问姥姥叫声“妈妈”,而我已经整整三年未归,没见过姥姥了…人总是倾向于选择得过且过,用这样那样的理由把一些简单的事情拖成遗憾,而这些遗憾终成了无解的悲伤。

    我明白,悲伤的列车终有停靠的时候,悲伤的感情终有落幕的一天。 我相信,悲伤可以用时间冲淡一些。只是…止住悲伤,需要极大的勇气,我…还需要时间。

    这段时间,我在后院建了一块小小的菊花花圃, 种上了各色的雏菊花。就把这些绽放绚丽的小小花朵献给天上的姥姥,用以廖解我们的思念吧。我爱的人,爱我的人,我永远记得,怎会忘掉。

    mum10


    Comments (6)

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    zhengwrote:
    嗯,Angelar,我一向觉得我外婆能活到100多岁的,唉...BTW,原来dewily的别称是小丫啊,嘿嘿
    Oct. 13
    Angelar Hewrote:
    小丫说得正是我想说的,没病没痛地去了真的很幸福!
    我外婆(大概就是你说的姥姥吧)得肺癌去世的,最后那几个月,真是生不如死。
    Oct. 13
    Ling Zhangwrote:
    小苑节哀
    顺便提下,花很漂亮,尤其是粉色的那盆
    Oct. 13
    zhengwrote:
    恩,我也还好,忙的时候就不大会想起那些伤心事啦。
    Oct. 11
    Alibiwrote:
    mm,节哀
    Oct. 11
    dewilywrote:
    mm这是喜丧阿,高寿而且无病无痛的离去,你应该节哀。
    Oct. 10

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